DATE 14

INSECURE MUCH?
I found this one on Bumble one afternoon and decided to send him a message because why not. He replied quickly and was pretty talkative. By the end of that evening we moved from Bumble to texting. By this point, I've realized that a good initial conversation means nothing in terms of relationship potential so I don't get my hopes up.

Also he sends me photos of his relatively new car- a gray Mustang. I probably should've raised an eyebrow at this point and noted that this guy was suspect. Have you seen the Mustang memes online? 

Mustang drivers leaving a car meet.

Apologies to any Mustang owners I may have offended. C'mon, it's funny though. Loosen up.

We make plans for Friday night but he backs out on Friday afternoon because something came up with his mom. Ok, no biggie, shit happens- I get it. So we go out Saturday instead, meeting for drinks at a bar around 7pm.

THE DATE

He asks me to pick the place so I choose a bar that is gaming and nerd culture themed. We have one of those awkward hellos where you kind of hug sort of but not really. Then we have a seat at the bar but it isn't long before he asks if we can sit outside instead so that he can smoke his vape. 

Alright, I'm not a huge fan of vaping but it's better than smoking cigarettes so, eh- I can look past it. We end up drinking and talking until the place closes at midnight-thirty. Time flew by with this guy as we reminisced about past times when we held LAN parties back when gamers were not cool. We talked about old X-men cartoons, MTV shows and music from the 90's. 

We also talked about jobs because it's an inevitable topic and this is where I begin to sense a little insecurity. He had just recently moved back to TX and was currently waiting to hear back about a job he interviewed for. Something to do with a liquor company and distribution or some shit. Anyway, for the time being he was staying with a friend, basically sleeping on their couch until he could find a house to purchase. I on the other hand, have a job and a house. Did I care that he was transitioning to a new job and still looking for a place to live? No. I gave zero fucks about any of that because it's temporary, but I have a feeling he gave many fucks about it. I didn't realize it right then but it seems pretty clear now.

May I present the fragile male ego.

Before the date is over, he offers me a ride to my car, so I hop in and he takes me to the parking garage. This guy is pretty good lookin' and it seems we've enjoyed eachother's company. So the makeout session begins and right away I'm thinkin this guy is way better at this than that 70's guy so he's probably better in bed too, right? 

HELP, I'M DYING
Monday arrives and I start feeling sick; scratchy mild sore throat and some body aches mostly. But by Wednesday I have a full blown fever and my throat hurts like a motherfucker when I swallow. Not gonna lie, for a moment I was really concerned that perhaps I caught the Covid even though I'm fully vaccinated by this point.

We're still texting frequently and I let him know that I'm dying. He still seems pretty excited to see me again and says it's just a matter of when I start to feel better so we can go another date. It takes a whole goddamn week, a doctor visit and some antibiotics for me to get well again. I tested negative for Covid (yay!) but positive for strep throat (goddammit). 

I survived! But I will die someday so best to make peace with that now.

UNINTENTIONAL DETECTIVE WORK
Instagram. I hate it but I still have it and honestly it's the only way I communicate with some people. Also my posts are mainly of my car and my cats because I don't do the whole #blessed bullshit or whatever it is influencers do these days. 

Hinge and Bumble allow you to connect your Instagram so I went ahead and connected mine to both, however I have NOT put my Instagram handle on my profile nor have I requested a follow. I connected my IG because I felt like it offers an additional glimpse into the kind of shit I like and that may be helpful to a potential mate.

Well, that is until I found out that a lot of guys on these apps just swipe right on everyone until they get a match and probably don't even look at that shit. 

I look like an idiot in this photo but there's only a 15% chance that any guys on this app will see it.

Also what's the deal with people asking for IG follows on dating apps? Why is this a thing now? 

But anyway, I digress. I have a new follower on my IG and my best guess is that it's Bachelor 14. This user has no photos, however their profile image is what appears to be the engine push start button of a Mustang. In the bio section there is a URL to a twitter page, so I click it thinking that it's probably Bachelor 14.

Once again, there's not much on the Twitter profile; certainly no photos of the person behind the account. However, there are a lot of tweets to several ladies who um... well let's just say they star in their own movies and seem to be on OnlyFans. This account frequently tweets at these ladies at the most thirsty AF or "notice me senpai" levels. (No hate to the lovely people who provide this type of entertainment, I'm just not sure I want to date a guy who begs for attention like that on Twitter)

The type of porn this person seems to be interested in is of the rough variety. You know, like hair pulling, spanking and jackhammering from behind. I'm not saying this is a positive or a negative, just an observation.

At this point I have no way of knowing if this is Bachelor 14 or not. But later on, I definitely see some connections that make me think it is. I'll explain that in part two.