I'M BACK B*TCHES!
Well, well, well. Where the hell have I been for the past 8 years? And what ever happened with that online dating bullshit?
Believe it or not, I did NOT end up finding a suitable bachelor on Match.com, OK Cupid or Plenty of Fish. Instead, I ended up meeting a guy through a mutual friend and thus shut down all of my dating profiles. I did go on one date from OKC but never got around to writing about it. (Yep, it was THAT good.)
From what I can recall, the guy was religious- I think maybe even Mormon. He had a very child-like sense of humor. Over dinner, he was telling me about some girl he went on a date with and how she let one rip and then he starts busting up laughing but covering his mouth like some kind of 7 year old boy who just made a fart joke. It was odd and uncomfortable. And that was my last experience with online dating.
I'm sure it's going to go much better this time around. It has to. 8 years have passed, I'm older and wiser and I’m now living in another state. Instead of dating websites we have dating apps- a plethora of them to choose from.
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| Now accepting applications. |
Believe it or not, I did NOT end up finding a suitable bachelor on Match.com, OK Cupid or Plenty of Fish. Instead, I ended up meeting a guy through a mutual friend and thus shut down all of my dating profiles. I did go on one date from OKC but never got around to writing about it. (Yep, it was THAT good.)
From what I can recall, the guy was religious- I think maybe even Mormon. He had a very child-like sense of humor. Over dinner, he was telling me about some girl he went on a date with and how she let one rip and then he starts busting up laughing but covering his mouth like some kind of 7 year old boy who just made a fart joke. It was odd and uncomfortable. And that was my last experience with online dating.
I'm sure it's going to go much better this time around. It has to. 8 years have passed, I'm older and wiser and I’m now living in another state. Instead of dating websites we have dating apps- a plethora of them to choose from.
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| Look out, the stupid human is back at it again, making profiles on dating sites. |
HOW IS IT I'VE COME TO ARRIVE HERE?
Long story short is that I got in to a relationship that started off great (like they all do) and then the two of us just grew apart over time, yet both of us were so comfortable in our situation that neither of us did shit about it for a really long time.
As time went on, I realized our relationship had morphed in to more of a roommate situation and that I was doin more and more things on my own. It finally hit me when I started to notice how lonely I felt, even when we were together livin under the same roof.
So one day we kind of just came to the decision that it'd be best for both of us to officially end it and move on separately. So yeah, I guess mutual breakups do exist.
IS IT TOO LATE TO FIND A DEATH BUDDY?
Dating in my 20's was unpleasant at best, but I still felt hopeful that I would find a suitable partner in crime before I reach my expiration date and am tossed aside by society for being too old.
Dating in my 20's was unpleasant at best, but I still felt hopeful that I would find a suitable partner in crime before I reach my expiration date and am tossed aside by society for being too old.
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| I'm 35, I'm gettin' too old for this shit. |
Let's see if dating in my 30's is any better.
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