DATE THREE BONUS FEATURES
THE CUT SCENES
Here's what I left out from the last post. During our two hour dinner, the Bachelor said a few things that deserved to be mocked.
THE LOST WALLET
This guy needs his wallet permanently attached to him because he loses or forgets it quite often. He tells me that he had gone to the gym the night before and knew he had his wallet before going but when he got home, he realized something was missing (brain cells perhaps?) so he began the hunt for his wallet.
Here's what I left out from the last post. During our two hour dinner, the Bachelor said a few things that deserved to be mocked.
THE LOST WALLET
This guy needs his wallet permanently attached to him because he loses or forgets it quite often. He tells me that he had gone to the gym the night before and knew he had his wallet before going but when he got home, he realized something was missing (brain cells perhaps?) so he began the hunt for his wallet.
He looked in his apartment and all throughout his car. He mentions that while looking in his vehicle, it was night and too dark to see well so he was really just feeling around for the wallet, in the center console area, between the seats, etc. but it was nowhere to be found. He drove back to the gym to ask if anybody turned in a wallet, and no luck. Then he drove back home and looked again in all of the places he’d already looked.
It turns out the wallet was in the pocket of the driver’s side door of his vehicle. Perhaps if he’d brought a light source with him the first time he had looked, he would have saved himself a trip to the gym. Fool.
HOW IS HE STILL ALIVE?
He tells me that this behavior is quite common for him. So common, in fact, he tells me that while living with this parents, whenever he would leave the house and say bye to his mom, she would not respond because she knew that he would drive away and then come right back, as he would have forgotten something. She would only say goodbye on his second departure.
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| You're clearly not Batman, you're the world's shittiest detective. |
HOW IS HE STILL ALIVE?
He tells me that this behavior is quite common for him. So common, in fact, he tells me that while living with this parents, whenever he would leave the house and say bye to his mom, she would not respond because she knew that he would drive away and then come right back, as he would have forgotten something. She would only say goodbye on his second departure.
I am enthralled; how does this man survive in the world? He says that he’s always thinking about what's next, in the future and that he cannot handle multiple thoughts at the same time, thinking about the present and the future. This is why he tends to forget things. You see, he’s so focused, for example, on what he needs to do at work, that while getting ready for work, he may leave the house without his (guess?) wallet.
I find this odd so I ask does nothing in your life require a need for multitasking? You’re really only capable of focusing on one thing at a time? Aren't there meds for that? Pretty sure there's a pill for that.
YOLO
At the end of the evening before we part ways, he tells me he is usually not this awkward and that he doesn’t typically screw up as much as he has with me. I find this hard to believe, but before I can say anything, he says “well, whatever, YOLO, right?”
I find this odd so I ask does nothing in your life require a need for multitasking? You’re really only capable of focusing on one thing at a time? Aren't there meds for that? Pretty sure there's a pill for that.
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| Look at you, you’re so vacant. Is it nice? Must be so relaxing. |
YOLO
At the end of the evening before we part ways, he tells me he is usually not this awkward and that he doesn’t typically screw up as much as he has with me. I find this hard to believe, but before I can say anything, he says “well, whatever, YOLO, right?”
I ask him if he really just said “YOLO” to me. He confirms and says it again.
Yolo….get outta here.
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| Say YOLO one more time. |
Yolo….get outta here.
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