MATCH MESSAGES PART III
NEW BATCH
Enjoy this fresh batch of Match messages. I've sorted through dozens of them and hand picked only the finest for you.
ELEVEN: HOAX?
“I can't tell if this profile is real or a sick prank. A girl as attractive as you into things as nerdy as this... Consider my mind blown.
So, how many times have you done the Comic Con adventure? Do you dress up every year? Your Harley costume looks amazing. I've been down there for Comic Con a few times and it's always a blast.
Well, I hope to hear from you if for no other reason then to prove that this profile is not a hoax.
Best,
[Name]”
Clever. Trying to reel me in with the ol ‘just respond so I know you’re real’ line eh? No. Not going to work. I know what happens. I respond saying “no no, I’m totally real” and then you try to turn that into a conversation and keep asking questions and sending messages, but I already know I'm not interested so let's end it before it starts.
TWELVE: FOOD
“Nice to meet you.
Do you like Japanese Food?
If so, I will take you to the fine Japanese Restaurant.
[Name]”
NGL, I do enjoy Japanese food and he’s not offering to take me to just any Japanese Restaurant. He’s offering to take me to a FINE Japanese Restaurant! Tempting as it may be, I'm not here to get free meals out of lonely guys.
THIRTEEN: FRIENDZONED?
“Hey, just read your profile and thought to myself that I could completely see myself just chilling with the person you described like one of my guy friends, which is pretty awesome if you ask me. I think you seem like someone worth knowing.
[Name]”
Did I just get friend zoned via message?
FOURTEEN: FAST AND FURIOUS
“Let me make some admissions. I played WoW for like 2 years, and currently play Diablo 3 and SC2. Also, I didn't want to put on my profile that I love fast cars, but I have a 911S and drive like a freaking maniac. Think we would get along?-[Name]”
Oooohh I love a man who drives like a freaking maniac. I’ve been telling myself, guurrrll, you really need to increase your risk of being involved in car accidents by dating men who drive like idiots.
I know almost next to nothing about cars.
I play on my gaming rig instead of on consoles.
I rarely play FPS. I prefer RPGs.
That said I am loyal. I will stand by you (in your case over you). I will give you straight answers.
I can show you a whole other world.
What would be our ideal date on a Saturday?”
Really? I think most days you’re too old for me regardless of your reading selection bro.
Enjoy this fresh batch of Match messages. I've sorted through dozens of them and hand picked only the finest for you.
 |
| Oh, the agony of reading these messages. |
ELEVEN: HOAX?
“I can't tell if this profile is real or a sick prank. A girl as attractive as you into things as nerdy as this... Consider my mind blown.
So, how many times have you done the Comic Con adventure? Do you dress up every year? Your Harley costume looks amazing. I've been down there for Comic Con a few times and it's always a blast.
Well, I hope to hear from you if for no other reason then to prove that this profile is not a hoax.
Best,
[Name]”
Clever. Trying to reel me in with the ol ‘just respond so I know you’re real’ line eh? No. Not going to work. I know what happens. I respond saying “no no, I’m totally real” and then you try to turn that into a conversation and keep asking questions and sending messages, but I already know I'm not interested so let's end it before it starts.
TWELVE: FOOD
“Nice to meet you.
Do you like Japanese Food?
If so, I will take you to the fine Japanese Restaurant.
[Name]”
Previous msg:
“Nice to see you.
I am in [location]. I am originally from Japan.
If we have a chance, let's meet and make a good relationship in the very near future!”
“Nice to see you.
I am in [location]. I am originally from Japan.
If we have a chance, let's meet and make a good relationship in the very near future!”
NGL, I do enjoy Japanese food and he’s not offering to take me to just any Japanese Restaurant. He’s offering to take me to a FINE Japanese Restaurant! Tempting as it may be, I'm not here to get free meals out of lonely guys.
THIRTEEN: FRIENDZONED?
“Hey, just read your profile and thought to myself that I could completely see myself just chilling with the person you described like one of my guy friends, which is pretty awesome if you ask me. I think you seem like someone worth knowing.
[Name]”
Did I just get friend zoned via message?
FOURTEEN: FAST AND FURIOUS
“Let me make some admissions. I played WoW for like 2 years, and currently play Diablo 3 and SC2. Also, I didn't want to put on my profile that I love fast cars, but I have a 911S and drive like a freaking maniac. Think we would get along?-[Name]”
Oooohh I love a man who drives like a freaking maniac. I’ve been telling myself, guurrrll, you really need to increase your risk of being involved in car accidents by dating men who drive like idiots.
 |
| You dumbass. |
FIFTEEN: TO CATCH A PREDATOR
“Hello. My name is [Name]. I know almost next to nothing about cars.
I play on my gaming rig instead of on consoles.
I rarely play FPS. I prefer RPGs.
That said I am loyal. I will stand by you (in your case over you). I will give you straight answers.
I can show you a whole other world.
What would be our ideal date on a Saturday?”
Oohhh, I know!! Our ideal date would be you walking into a house at the address I provide and being greeted by Chris Hansen. His profile says 41 but his picture says 58.
His second email to me, after I didn't respond to his first, was “We should do a road trip to [location].”
 |
| “Why don’t you have a seat right over there?” |
Uh, no? I’m sorry, but I’m not going on a road trip with a strange old man.
His profile says “I am the age I say I am, but some days I’m smarter, or sillier, or even younger than my age would indicate. I read Dr. Seuss so I might be too young for you. I’ve also read “Freud’s Interpretation of Dreams” so maybe I’m too old for you.”
His profile says “I am the age I say I am, but some days I’m smarter, or sillier, or even younger than my age would indicate. I read Dr. Seuss so I might be too young for you. I’ve also read “Freud’s Interpretation of Dreams” so maybe I’m too old for you.”
Really? I think most days you’re too old for me regardless of your reading selection bro.
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