POF MESSAGES PART III
FLOODING MY INBOX WITH MADNESS
The messages keep coming in but most of them are one liners, such as "hey, how's it going?" or even just one word like "hey"...Obviously I won't include those here. Only the best for this blog!
ELEVEN: COME TO SAVE MY SOUL OR MURDER ME?
“Hey there, I have something to ask you...
This is a random question, but if God asked you to, would you leave everything for Him?
After you answer this question, I have a story to tell you.
Curious?
If not, no worries, the question above can remain rhetorical for your own meditation. But if so, let's chat it up, I have much to share with you.”
Hmm. Is he trying to save my soul? He looks like a serial killer in his profile. Allow me to describe: intensely serious expression on his face, wearing a big puffy jacket and there’s green shrubbery in the background. Kinda looks like he just buried a body or two in the woods.
TWELVE: SHITTY WEEK?
“Hi there how's your week going so far, hopefully a lot better then mine. I'm a big fan of cosplay and I see that you are as well. I'd like to get to know by meeting in person and if you'd like to know more about me just hit me up and drop me a line.”
That’s not a good way to start to get know somebody. I feel like he wants me to respond with something along the lines of “Aww, I’m so sorry to hear that your week isn’t going so well. What’s wrong?” But anybody who knows me know that that is not how I would respond.
The messages keep coming in but most of them are one liners, such as "hey, how's it going?" or even just one word like "hey"...Obviously I won't include those here. Only the best for this blog!
ELEVEN: COME TO SAVE MY SOUL OR MURDER ME?
“Hey there, I have something to ask you...
This is a random question, but if God asked you to, would you leave everything for Him?
After you answer this question, I have a story to tell you.
Curious?
If not, no worries, the question above can remain rhetorical for your own meditation. But if so, let's chat it up, I have much to share with you.”
Hmm. Is he trying to save my soul? He looks like a serial killer in his profile. Allow me to describe: intensely serious expression on his face, wearing a big puffy jacket and there’s green shrubbery in the background. Kinda looks like he just buried a body or two in the woods.
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| Hmm, do you murder people based on how they answer your question? |
TWELVE: SHITTY WEEK?
“Hi there how's your week going so far, hopefully a lot better then mine. I'm a big fan of cosplay and I see that you are as well. I'd like to get to know by meeting in person and if you'd like to know more about me just hit me up and drop me a line.”
That’s not a good way to start to get know somebody. I feel like he wants me to respond with something along the lines of “Aww, I’m so sorry to hear that your week isn’t going so well. What’s wrong?” But anybody who knows me know that that is not how I would respond.
As my personality test results show, I’m an asshole and incapable of responding that way. Plus, I’m already bored, and not really interested in why he’s having a bad week.
THIRTEEN: CLEVER BOY
“You have the most amazing eyes I've ever seen on here. They are so fierce and look like they can light up the night. Oh, and that stance..that stance. It's just enough to make you stand out but still classy. Just looking at you makes me wonder what's underneath. Maybe it's all natural or maybe you have some modifications. 2.5? 3.5? I want to get to know you or at least find out more about you. Your owner is a lucky girl. ”
At first, I read it and thought, "douche. You wonder what's underneath!?! Perv!" But then, ahhhh, I see what you did there! Clever boy you are! Not my type, but I do appreciate the wittiness!
FOURTEEN: MASSACRES IN MY CAR
“That was amazing! Why can't more girls be like you? :) I'm only 4' 23" so were practically perfect for each other! But I am more of a Xbox guy myself tho I just really like the controller besides that I can go either way lol what type of music do you like to massacre in your car? ”
What type of music do I like to massacre in my vehicle?
THIRTEEN: CLEVER BOY
“You have the most amazing eyes I've ever seen on here. They are so fierce and look like they can light up the night. Oh, and that stance..that stance. It's just enough to make you stand out but still classy. Just looking at you makes me wonder what's underneath. Maybe it's all natural or maybe you have some modifications. 2.5? 3.5? I want to get to know you or at least find out more about you. Your owner is a lucky girl. ”
At first, I read it and thought, "douche. You wonder what's underneath!?! Perv!" But then, ahhhh, I see what you did there! Clever boy you are! Not my type, but I do appreciate the wittiness!
FOURTEEN: MASSACRES IN MY CAR
“That was amazing! Why can't more girls be like you? :) I'm only 4' 23" so were practically perfect for each other! But I am more of a Xbox guy myself tho I just really like the controller besides that I can go either way lol what type of music do you like to massacre in your car? ”
What type of music do I like to massacre in my vehicle?
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| Take that, evil radio! |
Well, who doesn’t enjoy bludgeoning a good beat while sitting in traffic?!
Interesting way to describe your height. You’re 4 feet and 23 inches tall? So then, you’re almost 6 feet tall? I’ll give him credit on the unique height description, but that's it.
Interesting way to describe your height. You’re 4 feet and 23 inches tall? So then, you’re almost 6 feet tall? I’ll give him credit on the unique height description, but that's it.
He's got the typical shirtless pictures that guys like to have on their profiles and it appears he’s not wearing any pants. I’m not going to click the thumbnail to make it any larger to confirm this, nor am I going to go back and look again.
FIFTEEN: NOT A MODEL
“Wouldn't mind you modeling next to or in my car =)”
Again, I realize the reason for these types of messages is my profile picture, of me next to my car. Mind you, I’m not bending over the hood and looking back over my shoulder at the camera while wearing a bikini. I’m seated on the floor in front of my vehicle, holding a hammer and wearing gloves, trying to look like Ryan Gosling's character from Drive. It doesn’t exactly scream out “hot import model.”
FIFTEEN: NOT A MODEL
“Wouldn't mind you modeling next to or in my car =)”
Again, I realize the reason for these types of messages is my profile picture, of me next to my car. Mind you, I’m not bending over the hood and looking back over my shoulder at the camera while wearing a bikini. I’m seated on the floor in front of my vehicle, holding a hammer and wearing gloves, trying to look like Ryan Gosling's character from Drive. It doesn’t exactly scream out “hot import model.”
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| Come a little closer so I can greet you with my hammer. |
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