DATE FIVE PART III
DATE FIVE- WTF HAPPENED?
Man, I knew it was too good to be true. I was just patiently waiting for the ugly reason to reveal itself over time.
I know ya'll were deeply disappointed that it had been going so well. Nobody wants to read about other people being happy and shit.
LAST MINUTE
It’s a Friday afternoon and I get a text from the Nemesis asking what I’m doing that evening and if I’d like to go to his place to order in some food and play some video games. Um, yes please! I'll be there at 8!
LIES!
I head inside and he’s got some strawberries and popcorn on the table along with two glasses for wine. I'm pretty certain he said "play some video games" earlier. Actually, dammit, I can confirm that since he sent it in a text. I have been tricked, there are no games in sight and the PS3 controllers in view are clearly dead.
Man, I knew it was too good to be true. I was just patiently waiting for the ugly reason to reveal itself over time.
I know ya'll were deeply disappointed that it had been going so well. Nobody wants to read about other people being happy and shit.
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| Well, you selfish bastards, do I have a treat for you then. |
It’s a Friday afternoon and I get a text from the Nemesis asking what I’m doing that evening and if I’d like to go to his place to order in some food and play some video games. Um, yes please! I'll be there at 8!
LIES!
I head inside and he’s got some strawberries and popcorn on the table along with two glasses for wine. I'm pretty certain he said "play some video games" earlier. Actually, dammit, I can confirm that since he sent it in a text. I have been tricked, there are no games in sight and the PS3 controllers in view are clearly dead.
Okay, okay, that's okay. We end up watching a sci-fi B movie, which we mock the whole time, kinda like Mystery Science Theater 3000. For those of you unfortunate enough not to know what I’m talking about, this was a show on Comedy Central that involved a man and two of his robot friends watching crappy old Sci-Fi films and providing stupid commentary the entire time. I am displeased that there are no video games to be had, but I am actually enjoying mocking this film with him- he’s got some decent material.
HOLD ON. STOP! EVERYBODY PUT THEIR PANTS BACK ON.
HOLD ON. STOP! EVERYBODY PUT THEIR PANTS BACK ON.
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| That includes you, sir. |
The film hasn’t ended, I’m not finished mocking it and there’s still food on the table. But something in this setting has changed. Yes, something is definitely different. Oh yes, that’s right. You were wearing pants before and now you’re not.
Smooth transition.
I kindly asked him to put his pants back on. At least the underwear.
Look, I have legit reasons as to why I was not open to the idea of bang bang bangity banging that evening, but that's neither here nor there.
Anyway, I do end up telling him why I'm not feelin' it that evening but he keeps interrupting me and trying to smother me with kisses. At one point he says he is sorry that he has a one track mind and sex is all he is thinking about. I tell him to, just for a moment, use his other head and try to follow what I’m saying. But he just keeps pushing. Literally.
I am not one to easily give in due to peer pressure. I fought him off, and at one point even had to bust out the weapon I brought, just incase I landed myself in such a situation. My fists of fury. Hang on now, I didn’t sock him in the face and give him a fat lip or anything like that. Don’t be so dramatic!
He wakes me up at 7am because he has a class to take that morning. Actually, he doesn't exactly wake me up, he just gets up and gets dressed, which I take as my cue to GTFO. As the sun starts to shine into the room, I notice that he had moved to the opposite side of the bed at some point during the evening; perhaps because it was hotter than hell, possibly because he was mad.
I grab my shoes and my purse and like a gentleman, he walks me out to my car. I simply tell him, “Sorry you didn’t get laid” because it’s all that came to my mind at the moment. Romantic, I know. He laughs and says something about how he can’t wait to see the pictures of an upcoming car show I'm attending.
I haven’t texted him since. And he hasn’t texted me either. He’s going out of town for the 4th of July, and then he will be gone for his training. So, there’s a good chance that even if this “date” didn’t go horribly wrong, I wouldn’t be seeing him in July anyway. And really, at this point, do I wanna?
Welp, Saturday evening I went out with Subject number 7. Details coming soon...
I kindly asked him to put his pants back on. At least the underwear.
Look, I have legit reasons as to why I was not open to the idea of bang bang bangity banging that evening, but that's neither here nor there.
Anyway, I do end up telling him why I'm not feelin' it that evening but he keeps interrupting me and trying to smother me with kisses. At one point he says he is sorry that he has a one track mind and sex is all he is thinking about. I tell him to, just for a moment, use his other head and try to follow what I’m saying. But he just keeps pushing. Literally.
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| No means NO!!!! |
I am not one to easily give in due to peer pressure. I fought him off, and at one point even had to bust out the weapon I brought, just incase I landed myself in such a situation. My fists of fury. Hang on now, I didn’t sock him in the face and give him a fat lip or anything like that. Don’t be so dramatic!
All I did was use my fist to gently push him off of me. No means no. There is no other way to interpret it, I’m afraid. It cannot be mistaken for “maybe” or “let me think about it” …. No simply means No. He went so far as to pick me up and take me to his bed, where he continued to try to get inside. But I still said no. He finally gave up, and fell asleep, with his arm around me.
SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN
Man, I can’t sleep here like this. What if he’s the type of guy who becomes angry because he didn’t get his way and he tries to murder me in my sleep? Clearly I need to get out of there. But how?
SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN
Man, I can’t sleep here like this. What if he’s the type of guy who becomes angry because he didn’t get his way and he tries to murder me in my sleep? Clearly I need to get out of there. But how?
I lay there next to him wondering where I left my shoes. I can’t leave without my shoes. Obviously. I'm trying to think of how I’m going to get out from under his arm and escape. But, my dumbass falls asleep.
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| Hey, at least I didn't get killed though. |
He wakes me up at 7am because he has a class to take that morning. Actually, he doesn't exactly wake me up, he just gets up and gets dressed, which I take as my cue to GTFO. As the sun starts to shine into the room, I notice that he had moved to the opposite side of the bed at some point during the evening; perhaps because it was hotter than hell, possibly because he was mad.
I grab my shoes and my purse and like a gentleman, he walks me out to my car. I simply tell him, “Sorry you didn’t get laid” because it’s all that came to my mind at the moment. Romantic, I know. He laughs and says something about how he can’t wait to see the pictures of an upcoming car show I'm attending.
I haven’t texted him since. And he hasn’t texted me either. He’s going out of town for the 4th of July, and then he will be gone for his training. So, there’s a good chance that even if this “date” didn’t go horribly wrong, I wouldn’t be seeing him in July anyway. And really, at this point, do I wanna?
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| Hmm Bats,... you're not lookin' so good anymore. |
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