POF MESSAGES PART II

POF MESSAGES PART II
Match messages are colorless and tame when compared to POF messages aren't they?

SIX: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
"A couple of goblins just walked into the office. They're definitely from Nebraska. It's hilarious! You on your way back with the pork tenderloin?"

Seriously?

SEVEN: WEAR WHAT?
"Mmmm will you wear that for me lol"

Ewww. I feel violated just reading that. And the sender is as orange as an oompa loompa. He's wearing giant earrings that almost distract me from the fact that he's so orange. Almost.

Yes, I realize that having pictures on my profile from Comic Con will elicit these types of messages on this site. But I must leave them up because I had them on Match, and well, you know- experiment, controlled variables, science and shit.

EIGHT: NEIGHBORS MAKE GOOD FRIENDS

"Hello there, my name is [Name]. Lets be friends and go out sometimes since we're neighbors ^___^ I love cars too"

Solid logic right there. He is in the same area code that I am, so I guess we could totally be friends. And he's got a nice black S2000. Damn, tempting. 

Oooh, nevermind. It's deeply unfortunate but he looks like a 14 year old Asian kid with a bowl haircut.

NINE: LATIN EXOTIC BEAUTY 

"Morning cutie! Wonder if you like tall, strong professional bankers?

So what is your type?

You have very pretty eyes, smile and style , wink,

I actually prefer your petite latin exotic beauty, Opposite then me is a turn on... fyi

BTW, I'm [Name}, nice to meet ya....

Check me out and let me know if you have any interest in a tall chill whiteboy, lol

Ask me a few questions so I know you are interested?

Hope this message finds you well...

[Name]"

First of all, why did he put every sentence on a new line? This is not an instant message conversation, so pressing the enter or return key after each sentence really isn't necessary. Do you like tall, strong professional wankers? Hmmm, no, no I don't think I do. Oh, Bankers...I originally read that as wankers.

I love the comment about my latin exotic beauty.... I don't even look Latin. Everybody thinks I'm white, likely due to my pale see-through skin that sparkles in the sunlight and my platinum blonde hair.

My physical appearance  totally screams both exotic and Latin, doesn't it?

TEN: TRUE WORLD OF UNDERGROUND STREET RACING 

"So you like cars,HMMM,Dig This,I build hot rods,the 88 stang with 600hp chevy is mine,9 second drag car. I can take you to the true world of underground street racing,and i can make your ride fast, I love spunky Small Energy filled ladies.lets race,I will give you 3 and the go,be by you while your spinning the tires."

I don't even know where to begin. Underground street racing? What's with the random capitalization? This one just hurts my brain.