DATE THREE PART III

ONE LAST CHANCE

Let’s do a quick recap: the Bachelor is date 3, the man who forgot his wallet on the first date and brought me to a birthday party of a girl who wanted to bang him first.

This is the third date with this man. I have him come out to my area this time because I’m not gonna use my fuel for this bullshit. It’s been about 3 weeks since the last two dates, and he has been sure to stay in touch via text. He was really eager to make it up to me by taking me out to dinner, so I said what the hell, I’ll give the man one last chance. But first...

SLOW PURSUIT 

This is pretty goddamn embarrassing but it happened. I get to the spot and there’s no parking anywhere so I text the Bachelor to let him know I’m hunting for a parking spot. I pull into a parking structure nearby and there’s a large security man standing on a segway, chatting with a security woman. There are two signs that say “Lot Full” however they are both leaning against a wall and not facing outward. I figure these signs are just there for when the lot does get full, but that they aren’t positioned in such a manner to indicate that the lot is now full. 

So I start going up the ramps in the parking structure looking for parking. My windows are rolled down a bit and I hear a faint sounding “HEY!” but I figure it isn't meant for me. I’m at the third ramp up now and I see red and blue lights flashing on something that is still on the second ramp below.

Am I being chased?

I’m going 5 mph and braking every time I think I see an open spot. I finally reach the top level and sure enough there’s no parking. There’s another car up here who has also realized this and he is making a U-turn to come back down. I sit and wait. Finally the large man on the Segway with his blue and red flashing lights has caught up to me. He pulls up next to me and I’m trying my hardest not to laugh. C'mon, dude looks like Paul Blart, Mall cop; I don’t think he even takes himself seriously. 

He smiles and says “why did you come up? Didn’t you see my partner and I blocking the ramp to go up? The lot is full.” I respond with “Well, I see that now. But it looked like you and your partner were just chatting and the Lot Full signs were just leaning aside, so it didn’t appear that either were a blockade or a warning not to enter.” The guy chuckles (see, even he can’t keep a straight face) and tells me that now I have to turn around and go all the way back down. I suppose that is my punishment.

BORING
That pursuit was the most exciting part of my evening. I get to the restaurant and see the Bachelor sitting on a bench outside. He tells me that he thought I was getting him back for the first two dates and that I was going to stand him up. Haha! Why didn’t I think of that!? Brilliant. 

I tell him about the pursuit by the mall cop on the Segway and we head inside and order food. He tells me he lost his wallet a day ago.

Shocking. How have you managed to stay alive this long?

He says found it before our date and has it tonight. Ah, a little jokester are ya? I ask him if he’s officially jobless now and he says that he was able to secure one additional month of work before quitting. He still hasn’t found an actual job in the entertainment business though. So that's good.

THE DEAL BREAKER
I happen to be really excited on this particular day because earlier I put down a rather large deposit on a set of wheels for my next car. These are a custom sizing and fit, and I’ve been planning them for months now. So I tell him about it. 

His reaction is less than pleased and he begins to ask me about car payments and costs of modifications and the cost of having multiple vehicles that I do not need. Eventually he's outright judging me for essentially 'wasting money'.

Good thing you have quick reflexes buddy.

Look, I don't need a man to fully understand my addiction to cars, but they gotta accept that it's a huge part of who I am and what I do. And this one clearly doesn’t. Then he starts yawning and says he’s got a cross fit competition the next day and needs to be up early. 

A PERFECT GENTLEMAN

As we say the awkward goodbyes, he tells me he is parked in the opposite direction. gives me the hug and starts to walk off in his direction.

You know what, you can have this damn rose back.

Isn’t the guy supposed to walk the girl to her car? It’s 10pm and I told him that I had to park blocks away! I could have been attacked or chased by a large man on a segway again.