DATE THREE: DISASTER

THE DISASTER DATE

By Tuesday, he’s asked if I want to go out on Friday night, for dinner. I figure what the hell, aside from the fact that he may be jobless at the end of the month, for a really long time, without a backup plan, everything is going great! 

So, I agree to meet him in downtown Friday night at 7:30 for dinner. He says once there, we can just pick a place to have dinner at in the area. Ok, no problem. Not much of a planner I see. That’s fine.

CHANGE IN PLANS
Aww, shucks. About 4 hours before our date, he says there’s a hockey game tonight and it’s going to be really crowded downtown, so maybe it’s not such a great idea to meet there. Not a problem, let’s meet somewhere else. He offers to come out my way, so I say sure. Let’s meet at the Yardhouse at 7:30 at a city much closer to me.

At 7:30, he texts to let me know there’s a lot of traffic and he’s running a bit late. No worries, I’m running a bit late myself. At about 7:45, I get to the parking structure and it's as packed as a parking garage for a Justin Bieber concert. Cars are stopped in places they shouldn’t be and I’m making my way through at a snail’s pace. But now I’m trapped in there and I’ve got no cell phone reception because it’s underground. Great.

This is going swimmingly.

I manage to receive a text from him, it’s now a little after 8:00 and he says he is also stuck in the same structure I am and we're both trying to escape. Finally, I get out, and make my way a few blocks down, where I can breathe. I pull into a parking lot for a restaurant and text him where I am. Maybe we can just eat this place. It’s now about 8:30 and I haven’t heard back from him. What the holy hell is going on now?! I’m about ready to just start the car and roll out. (and make a pit stop at the Taco Bell on the way home because I am starving and tacos are delicious).

Then he calls. He sounds in distress. He says he’s an idiot, or something along those lines. 

Go on, yes, yes, you're an idiot, I agree. Elaborate on why you feel the need to tell me this right now.

I’M SORRY, YOU FORGOT WHAT?
Oh, your wallet! No big deal. Who needs that? At this point, it’s late, I’m hungry and I’ve got makeup on so let’s just do this already. And I can hear the embarrassment in his voice, and it sounds sincere. So I tell him it’s ok and assure him that I’ve got a wallet so we can still have dinner and I’ll pay.

As it turns out, I'm quite a gentleman.

I ask him for his location, he tells me what street corner he is on and I tell him to stay put and I will come find him. I describe the awesome vehicle that I’m driving and tell him to keep an eye out for it. 

I drive up the street a few blocks, looking for the Bachelor. Once my target has been acquired, I pull over with my hazards on and text him that I’m right there with my hazards on. I can see him in my rear view mirror. He looks confused and lost, and he’s turning around and heading off in the wrong direction.

I text again telling him to turn around and look for the ONLY VEHICLE THAT IS PULLED OVER WITH THE HAZARDS ON. I’m not in a line of multiple cars with their hazards on, I am the only one. 

Hey stupid, get in.

IT GETS MAGICAL 

He is clearly distraught and feels like an idiot about forgetting his wallet. I pay for my $10 parking and we head to the closest restaurant. He is obviously nervous and shamed, but the conversation is actually coming along quite nicely. We're talkin' nerd shit and making jokes.

He's also pretty good lookin so I’ve forgotten about the fact that he doesn’t have his wallet. He's  looking a bit more relaxed and pulls the ol “Let me see how big my hands are compared to yours” move, where we now touch hands. How magical. 

This means he's interested, right? Am I getting this right?

The waiter turns out to be the most awesome waiter in the history of waiters. Bachelor has told our waiter that it’s our first date and he forgot his wallet, and the waiter is giving him tips on how to fix this. And he is trying to convince me that I should give this guy a second date, at the very least, so that he can pay me back and buy me a dinner. Why, I concur! No need to convince me! At the end, he throws in a free dessert and tells us to pretend that it’s my birthday so he doesn’t get in trouble. Seriously, coolest waiter ever.

We walk back to his car (I have to pay for his parking since he has no money) and he’s got his arm around my waist as we walk. Again, magical. We retrieve his vehicle, I pay the parking, and he drives me back to the other lot where I’ve parked mine. It’s now about midnight at this point. And then..

What? This is totally part of the experiment. Gotta check if there's chemistry.

We have a little mouth to mouth action in his car before I get out and jump into my car. This is the first date I’ve done that with so I’m not a whore. And it was totally for the purposes of my experiment. Yep, I’m going with that.