DATE TWO- TACTICS

DATE TWO >>TACTICS<<

Ok, just to recap- he's dumb but I had to extend the length of the date because I had one too many drinks and need to sober up before I can drive home.

We get to the restaurant and I’m throwing back glasses of water and eating carbs to get sober enough to drive. I start asking him about Match. How long have you been on it? Why are you on it? What has your experience been like? The convo has basically become an interview. I avoid saying anything that would indicate a future and really try to convey that I’m asking pointless questions to pass time.

Go on, tell me more. Don't mind the legal pad, I'm just doodling.

The place is closing, so we are forced out. I am feeling sober now and ready to drive my ass home. 

We're now standing at my car, and as I try to make that awkward closing (you know, the one where you keep saying “okkaaayyy, welp *look at watch* I guess I should…..” and then start turning towards your car, to show that you are getting ready to leave) but he just keeps talking! 

Then, it gets awkward to the power of 10. He comes in for the hug. Ok fine, awkward hug it is. But no. He takes it two steps further. He picks me up, and then kisses me on the cheek. The look on my face must have been priceless, but unfortunately he didn't get a chance to see it because he was still holding me up as my feet were desperately trying to reach the ground again so I could bolt out.

WHHHYYYYY?

OUTCOME

I will give the man cred on the fact that he made a solid plan, paid for everything, including my parking (that was actually really nice and unexpected) and he tried. He texted me a LOT after the date. And I kept trying to sway him away, but my efforts were futile. I've now stopped texting back, as that was the advice given to me from the guys.

The first issue I had was the lack of physical attraction, and part of that was due to the height. He seemed shorter than what his profile said. A lot shorter. And, I shouldn't be one to talk, I realize this, because I am under 5 feet myself. But I know what I like, and small men—not it. 

The next issue was the conversation. I don’t know how I feel about that much liquor on a first date. Sure, it made things tolerable, and probably gave him liquid courage. But then look what happened; I had to extend the date time just so I could sober up to drive home, and that probably gave him false hope. Note to self: one should not have more than one drink on these dates, as one may find oneself in a bit of a bind.

I'm totally not here against my will. 

The conversation felt forced to me. The alcohol surely helped, however, at one point I felt like I was just answering questions out loud but really singing along to Rihanna songs in my head. I’d be very surprised if my facial expressions showed otherwise.