MATCH MESSAGES
Oh, the many types of messages one receives on Match. And you know, I can’t hate on them all. As a girl, I’m not sending any myself. I’m just responding to a few (a very slim few) and I’m not over here starting any conversations on my own. So, I have to give these guys some credit for taking the time to send a message.
However, with that said, let me just say that these messages range from extremely difficult to decipher to extremely entertaining to so freaking long, it feels like homework just reading them. So let’s talk about the types of messages I’ve received on match, to date.
Remember Me?
Luckily I’ve only encountered one of these in my time on Match so far. But it’s always a possibility that some guy you dated in the past will be on Match and reach out to you with a “Hey, Remember me?” message.
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| Let me put my reading glasses on first. K, I'm ready. |
Illegible (poor grammar, bad spelling, nonsensical)
Ok, this right here is an automatic shutdown. I believe the match system has a built in spell-check, so there’s really no excuse for spelling mistakes. And frankly, if you cannot write a clear message on a dating site, then it is very likely that we won’t have much to talk about in person because I don’t have a high tolerance for stupidity. Or, perhaps you can speak really well, and you just choose to write things like “r u having a gr8 week?” in which case, are you just too lazy to write out the extra letters in that sentence? I’m not a huge fan of laziness either. NEXT!
Ok, this right here is an automatic shutdown. I believe the match system has a built in spell-check, so there’s really no excuse for spelling mistakes. And frankly, if you cannot write a clear message on a dating site, then it is very likely that we won’t have much to talk about in person because I don’t have a high tolerance for stupidity. Or, perhaps you can speak really well, and you just choose to write things like “r u having a gr8 week?” in which case, are you just too lazy to write out the extra letters in that sentence? I’m not a huge fan of laziness either. NEXT!
Creepy
Once in a while, a creeper comes along and sends a message. Typically the message is from a man who is MUCH MUCH older than I am. Say, 15+ years. But the age of the sender alone doesn’t necessarily make the message creepy. (Don’t get me wrong; that much older is an automatic shutdown from me.)
But, what makes the message qualify as creepy is when the first message says something like “We should take a road trip to….." Yeah, I don’t know you at all and you’re about 15 years older than I am (even if your profile did not state your age, your picture would immediately show that you’re significantly older than I am) and you want me to get in a car with you and go somewhere random. Sure, sounds like a great idea! Here’s my address: NEXT!
The Template
You start to get the same message over and over and it seems like there is a template for sending an email. I wouldn’t know because I haven’t been the first one to send anybody a message. But these messages usually go something like this:
“Hi, I read your profile and I think we’ve got a lot in common! I also enjoy X, and I’ve always been a fan of Y! I’d really like a chance to get to know you better, so check out my profile and message back if you like what you see. I look forward to hearing from you.”
Well, at least they read my profile. I usually do at the very least check out their profile to see if there’s anything that tickles my fancy.
The Resume
The Resume messages tend to read like resumes or job applications. They list out all of their good qualities, which typically include such things as “Caring, Intelligent, Highly Educated, Well-Traveled, Generous, Compassionate…” and the list goes on.
Once in a while, a creeper comes along and sends a message. Typically the message is from a man who is MUCH MUCH older than I am. Say, 15+ years. But the age of the sender alone doesn’t necessarily make the message creepy. (Don’t get me wrong; that much older is an automatic shutdown from me.)
But, what makes the message qualify as creepy is when the first message says something like “We should take a road trip to….." Yeah, I don’t know you at all and you’re about 15 years older than I am (even if your profile did not state your age, your picture would immediately show that you’re significantly older than I am) and you want me to get in a car with you and go somewhere random. Sure, sounds like a great idea! Here’s my address: NEXT!
The Template
You start to get the same message over and over and it seems like there is a template for sending an email. I wouldn’t know because I haven’t been the first one to send anybody a message. But these messages usually go something like this:
“Hi, I read your profile and I think we’ve got a lot in common! I also enjoy X, and I’ve always been a fan of Y! I’d really like a chance to get to know you better, so check out my profile and message back if you like what you see. I look forward to hearing from you.”
Well, at least they read my profile. I usually do at the very least check out their profile to see if there’s anything that tickles my fancy.
The Resume
The Resume messages tend to read like resumes or job applications. They list out all of their good qualities, which typically include such things as “Caring, Intelligent, Highly Educated, Well-Traveled, Generous, Compassionate…” and the list goes on.
Then comes the pitch; why they think we would be a good match. This part of the message incorporates both the Template approach and the Homework approach. They list the things we have in common, according to my profile, and explain why they feel I should message them. Sometimes they will go into what a first date would entail, or the magical places we could travel together. It’s quite touching, really. I tend not to reply back to these, and it’s got nothing to do with the message itself. It’s just that usually the type of men who send this kind of message are just not my type. More on that later.
Homework
These are the LONG ones. I’m talking a minimum of 4 paragraphs. I will skim through these, but honestly, it feels like homework. I appreciate the time taken to write out these novels but it’s hard to read some of these.
Homework
These are the LONG ones. I’m talking a minimum of 4 paragraphs. I will skim through these, but honestly, it feels like homework. I appreciate the time taken to write out these novels but it’s hard to read some of these.
And I will be totally honest here (not that I am not being honest everywhere else in this blog), but before I even read the entire thing, I will typically look at the profile picture. If the guy is attractive to me, then I’ll give it a shot and read the message. But if not, then I’m sorry, it just won’t work. Again, more on that later.
How was your weekend? Plans for the weekend?
That’s pretty much the full message. “Hi, how’s your week going” if it’s on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. “Hey, any plans for the weekend?” if it’s Thursday or Friday. And “Do anything fun this weekend?” for Saturdays, Sundays and Mondays.
How was your weekend? Plans for the weekend?
That’s pretty much the full message. “Hi, how’s your week going” if it’s on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. “Hey, any plans for the weekend?” if it’s Thursday or Friday. And “Do anything fun this weekend?” for Saturdays, Sundays and Mondays.
If I were a guy, and I know that there’s a TINY chance I’m going to get a response to the email anyway, I guess I wouldn’t put a lot of effort into writing them either. It’s a crapshoot after all. How annoying would it be to sit there and write out a lengthy, well-thought out email to a girl only to never get a response!? At least this way, no time wasted; you got something out there, and if you get a response, then maybe write out a good one.
So I don’t automatically shut these down. See, I think about this stuff and I try to see it from the other side. I /try/.
The Repeat Offender
The repeats are the messages that come from the same guy, over and over. You don’t respond to the first one, so he sends you a second. Then a third. Then a fourth. Even after you use the “No Thanks” feature that Match provides, this is the persistent guy who just keeps sending messages. Usually they refer to a previous message, so that just in case you missed the first two, you know that he has sent you two previous messages.
The Repeat Offender
The repeats are the messages that come from the same guy, over and over. You don’t respond to the first one, so he sends you a second. Then a third. Then a fourth. Even after you use the “No Thanks” feature that Match provides, this is the persistent guy who just keeps sending messages. Usually they refer to a previous message, so that just in case you missed the first two, you know that he has sent you two previous messages.
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| Seriously dude. No thanks. |
Remember Me?
Luckily I’ve only encountered one of these in my time on Match so far. But it’s always a possibility that some guy you dated in the past will be on Match and reach out to you with a “Hey, Remember me?” message.
Yes, yes I do remember you. Would I like to go out again? Well, if it didn’t work out so well back in the day, I’m going to guess it might not work out so well today. Besides, I’m not paying to get on a dating site so I can date guys I’ve already dated! I’m looking to meet new people here! Pass.
MY RESPONSE?
My response rate is very low at less than 10%. I started out thinking that I should reply to every message, even the ones I’m not interested in, just to say thank you for taking the time to write me. But I realized very quickly that would be an impossible task. There’s simply no way I have the time to respond to all of these messages. And a response (even one that says I’m not interested) would probably just lead the guy on. I confirmed this with a few guys I talked to (including one I went on a date with). So, the <10% response rate works just fine.
A METHOD TO MY MADNESS
I use a filter on Match, and I put in the things that I’m looking for in a guy so that way it filters out the messages for me. Since Match has done it for me already, I can skip looking at things like height or ethnicity (Yes I guess I am shallow because I feel that there has to be a physical attraction for this to work and I know what I want).
Now I read the message itself. If it catches my interest, I will look at his profile. Here comes the fun part.
MY RESPONSE?
My response rate is very low at less than 10%. I started out thinking that I should reply to every message, even the ones I’m not interested in, just to say thank you for taking the time to write me. But I realized very quickly that would be an impossible task. There’s simply no way I have the time to respond to all of these messages. And a response (even one that says I’m not interested) would probably just lead the guy on. I confirmed this with a few guys I talked to (including one I went on a date with). So, the <10% response rate works just fine.
A METHOD TO MY MADNESS
There is a method, I swear. To date, I have received 293 messages on Match. That’s just messages, that doesn’t include Winks, or “favorites” or “likes” (Seriously is there a need for all these categories?!). It’s been 25 days since I signed up. That’s about 11.7 messages a day. There's no way I'm responding to 11.7 messages a day.
I use a filter on Match, and I put in the things that I’m looking for in a guy so that way it filters out the messages for me. Since Match has done it for me already, I can skip looking at things like height or ethnicity (Yes I guess I am shallow because I feel that there has to be a physical attraction for this to work and I know what I want).
Now I read the message itself. If it catches my interest, I will look at his profile. Here comes the fun part.
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